I want to ask, do you plan to make a Walktrough or something similar? Because I didn't find all the new content and I don't know witch one of the 5 Stats I need for some events and the rewards.
First of all, thank you for playing Courtship! The walkthrough is one of the perks of being a supporter. You can find out more about it on Patreon or SubscribeStar. Also make sure that you are playing with version 3.1, as there were bugs with some of the content in version 3.0.
Gave this one a shot and I wanted to offer some notes from someone who puts way too much thought into this kind of thing:
First, the positives:
I can tell you've put a significant amount of effort into portraying a more difficult time period. It's the hard path, given that most resources are designed for modern stories, and that it requires you to put in so much more research on historical details/specifics (though I assume that, like me, you find that half the fun), but I really appreciate that you've chosen a less common road. I'd much rather read or play something creative or new, even if it's flawed, then see the millionth version of the same *cough* college *cough* story, no matter how good it might be (and it usually isn't).
There is a balance that I've noticed is difficult for many writers to properly keep in historical works: either they try to imitate the speech too much, and end up producing unintelligible nonsense, or they abandon it entirely with speech so casual I wouldn't even like it in a modern game. But in your writing you've done fairly well at embodying the spirit of the age without being constrained by it. I do think it could use a little work in some parts here or there, but the dialogue is quite decent - for example, I would single out the mother's dialogue and renders for packing quite of bit of character into a what is a very short interaction.
On the more constructive side:
You've done as well as I realistically think you could have in portraying the time period regarding the environments and characters (and good work on that!) but I think your renders, particularly lighting, could be improved. I do not find it to be annoying, nor is it a huge issue for me (substance over visuals, in my opinion) but I believe others may differ on this.
There are still a few typos and grammar issues. They're not common, but they're there, e.g. "I can of" should be "I kind of", presumably. But I am extremely picky on this issue in particular, and even I found few of them - you might even want to take this one as a compliment.
The MC is a dingus. There are a couple moments of dingus-ery, but I'm mostly talking about this: did he really not know his position in the line of succession? Did he somehow forget what would most likely be the defining fact of his existence? If the reason you wrote that was give exposition to the player, please rethink that choice. I imagine you don't want to bombard the player with historical details in ways that might confuse them, but on the whole I suggest erring on the side of authenticity over simplicity. That's my preference, at least.
And, sadly, the negative:
It's only chapter 1! It sounds facetious, but I actually kind of mean that in a serious sense; there's not much content yet, and I don't feel very attached to the characters so far. Given the importance of that in this medium I thought I would mention it, but I also think it's fair to assume that time (and further chapters) will give more depth and possibly solve this 'issue'.
On a special note, I very much like the plot idea that you've teased of having an unrequited love between Sally and the MC to complicate the other paths. It's interesting by the very virtue of how rare it - for obvious reasons - is in the genre. I'm kind of hoping you develop it in that direction, but I doubt that's what you're actually planning, going forward - again, for obvious reasons. I wouldn't blame you for moving away from that direction, anyway.
I played both the original and the updated release, and I have two questions on that just for my own peace of mind: first, did you change the Jane/Rebecca scene? I seem to remember it triggered regardless of whether you kiss her or not; and second, did you change the name of the killer? I seem to recall it just being 'noble killer'.
First of all, this is a great review, so thank you for writing it.
On the positives: Thank you!
On lighting: What do you think about the lighting in the new reworked intro? That's the kind of lighting I plan to have in every scene once I finished working on Chapter II.
On typos: I'm French so sometimes there are subtleties I'm not aware of so I'm always happy when someone points out any grammar mistakes.
On succession: It wasn't his position in the line of succession until his father died. Also, he had been abroad for two years exactly to avoid that kind of things, and his father had just died and he wasn't really thinking about such matters. But I agree the dialogue is a bit in your face so I'll revisit it to see if it can be improved.
On Sally: Players will only be able to choose one love interest in the end, so the unrequited love will be very much an ongoing theme, except for masochist players who want to make their life hard by choosing to marry a maid.
On Jane: It was indeed an oversight; now you get the Sally dusting half-naked if you kiss her, and the naked Jane with her maid if you kiss Jane.
It's only chapter 1: I'm working hard on chapter II, and I hope you will get attached to the characters soon!
I did see that the intro was much better, actually! But I didn't recognize it as a new addition; I just assumed that I hadn't noticed the difference the first time. I'm not any kind of expert, so all I can give is my subjective opinion, but I think it's a big improvement - enough for me to notice without being told, anyway.
Neither did I recognize you as a non-native speaker at all. Usually I am quite good at that sort of thing, so I find it even more impressive that you've managed to not only write in another language, but in a period piece of all things.
There is another typo I will mention - I had assumed before that you were a native speaker and would recognize it yourself eventually, given your grasp of the language, but this might be one of those subtleties. The typo (unless it's some kind of ceremonial pipe of office) is "Marquess pipe", which should be either "Marquess's pipe" or "Marquess' pipe" for the possessive. I'm more of a "Marquess' pipe" fan myself.
There is also a typo in the new introduction that I noticed: "one of the most eligible bachelors in the country". You can probably see what I mean about being extremely picky on this issue.
"In your face" is a good way of putting the dialogue about the lines of succession. I did consider both of those points, but I also figured that, the MC being in contact with at least his parents via letter, he would be made aware of any important events. But I can definitely see how it might not be something he was aware of if he was deliberately trying to avoid that information.
← Return to game
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
I want to ask, do you plan to make a Walktrough or something similar? Because I didn't find all the new content and I don't know witch one of the 5 Stats I need for some events and the rewards.
Hi,
First of all, thank you for playing Courtship! The walkthrough is one of the perks of being a supporter. You can find out more about it on Patreon or SubscribeStar. Also make sure that you are playing with version 3.1, as there were bugs with some of the content in version 3.0.
Prof
I just joined you on your Patreon.
Thank you so much! Tell me if you still have trouble with finding some of the images, I'll help you.
I love the victorian era. This sounds good. I wouldnt mind a victorian era vampire novel ether.
Gave this one a shot and I wanted to offer some notes from someone who puts way too much thought into this kind of thing:
First, the positives:
On the more constructive side:
And, sadly, the negative:
On a special note, I very much like the plot idea that you've teased of having an unrequited love between Sally and the MC to complicate the other paths. It's interesting by the very virtue of how rare it - for obvious reasons - is in the genre. I'm kind of hoping you develop it in that direction, but I doubt that's what you're actually planning, going forward - again, for obvious reasons. I wouldn't blame you for moving away from that direction, anyway.
I played both the original and the updated release, and I have two questions on that just for my own peace of mind: first, did you change the Jane/Rebecca scene? I seem to remember it triggered regardless of whether you kiss her or not; and second, did you change the name of the killer? I seem to recall it just being 'noble killer'.
Hi!
First of all, this is a great review, so thank you for writing it.
On the positives: Thank you!
On lighting: What do you think about the lighting in the new reworked intro? That's the kind of lighting I plan to have in every scene once I finished working on Chapter II.
On typos: I'm French so sometimes there are subtleties I'm not aware of so I'm always happy when someone points out any grammar mistakes.
On succession: It wasn't his position in the line of succession until his father died. Also, he had been abroad for two years exactly to avoid that kind of things, and his father had just died and he wasn't really thinking about such matters. But I agree the dialogue is a bit in your face so I'll revisit it to see if it can be improved.
On Sally: Players will only be able to choose one love interest in the end, so the unrequited love will be very much an ongoing theme, except for masochist players who want to make their life hard by choosing to marry a maid.
On Jane: It was indeed an oversight; now you get the Sally dusting half-naked if you kiss her, and the naked Jane with her maid if you kiss Jane.
It's only chapter 1: I'm working hard on chapter II, and I hope you will get attached to the characters soon!
Thanks again for this great review!
I did see that the intro was much better, actually! But I didn't recognize it as a new addition; I just assumed that I hadn't noticed the difference the first time. I'm not any kind of expert, so all I can give is my subjective opinion, but I think it's a big improvement - enough for me to notice without being told, anyway.
Neither did I recognize you as a non-native speaker at all. Usually I am quite good at that sort of thing, so I find it even more impressive that you've managed to not only write in another language, but in a period piece of all things.
There is another typo I will mention - I had assumed before that you were a native speaker and would recognize it yourself eventually, given your grasp of the language, but this might be one of those subtleties. The typo (unless it's some kind of ceremonial pipe of office) is "Marquess pipe", which should be either "Marquess's pipe" or "Marquess' pipe" for the possessive. I'm more of a "Marquess' pipe" fan myself.
There is also a typo in the new introduction that I noticed: "one of the most eligible bachelors in the country". You can probably see what I mean about being extremely picky on this issue.
"In your face" is a good way of putting the dialogue about the lines of succession. I did consider both of those points, but I also figured that, the MC being in contact with at least his parents via letter, he would be made aware of any important events. But I can definitely see how it might not be something he was aware of if he was deliberately trying to avoid that information.
I corrected the typos and "softened" the succession dialogue. Thanks again for your help!